The parent trap

Many parents, including me, have fallen into this trap one way or another. You impose your own hopes and dreams upon your child’s athletic career. Even when you are conscious of it, this can be hard to avoid. Longtime Valley sports columnist Scott Bordow has warned parents for years about falling into this trap. In his must read column in yesterday’s Arizona Republic, however, Scott reveals that he, too, crossed the line and became too invested in his 14-year-old daughter’s soccer career. It hit him when she told him that she wanted stop playing on her club team.

“Look, there’s nothing inherently wrong with pushing your teenagers to excel,” Scott writes. “We want what’s best for our kids. We want them to succeed in whatever they do, and to do that sometimes they need a gentle shove.

“But we shouldn’t burden them with our desires or our dreams, and that’s what I was doing with Emily. I was so proud of her on the soccer field — yes, I enjoyed bragging about her exploits — that I let her potential cloud my judgment.”

Good advice for all of us. — Dan Barr


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